I will keep this letter as it so clearly explains how a sexually abused child feels, even when they grow to adulthood. Sexual, and sometimes physical, abuse disconnects a child from nature and the universe. They feel alone, distant, not really real or alive and usually terror becomes a normal state of mind. Because of this feeling of disconnection and rage they can do terrible things to others.
I felt so sad, because some alternative methods of healing can be so effective for the sexually abused, but he had no knowledge of these options.
It is a pity we only have a sun rising chart, rather than a timed chart for Bill Zeller, but even so, Chiron quincunx his Scorpio Sun from the solar 8th house clearly describes his very deep wound in this area. The exact Venus conjunct Mars in Virgo square the nodal axis making a midpoint structure with the Sun could also be a factor. The midpoint structure of Saturn = Mars/Neptune, together with Sun = Venus-Mars/South Node and Saturn/Mercury-Pluto suggest perhaps the father was the perpetrator, or a powerful religious figure in the community.
My dear friend Mag, who died last year, said to me that she wouldn't fight her breast cancer anymore as death would be such a relief because she would no longer need to constantly remember her years of sexual abuse. She was adopted at the age of four to literally be a sex toy for a pillar of the Catholic church in my city. When she realized what was happening to her was wrong, she went to the local priest for help - and he told her not to be such a dirty little girl and be grateful she had such a good home. At age 16 she went to the police, but because her adoptive father was so well respected and so powerful they told her much the same thing. To the day of her death her adoptive family didn't believe her accusations.
35 years ago she became my client and told me of this situation; I looked at her chart and said that the astrology showed this was quite possible. I was the first person who ever believed her and it changed her life! She said it was as if a dark cloud rolled off her. However the abuse left her with health problems, particularly breathing problems, as when a child she would hold her breath whilst she hid so he couldn't find her by the sound of her breathing.
She was born on the 20th September 1936, 11.27 pm, Adelaide, Australia. She died peacefully in her sleep in Adelaide, at 10.15 pm, Tuesday 15th June 2010. Age 73.
Alice McDermott
