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Author Topic: Another Suicide  (Read 1654 times)
Halina
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« on: January 12, 2011, 11:23:42 AM »

      Bill Zeller, brilliant programmer, creator of innovative software like MyTunes, committed suicide on January 5th.  He struggled with memories of repeated sexual abuse as a child.  These struggles are seen
in his quotes: "The darkness is with me nearly every time I wake up.  I feel like a grime is covering me.
I feel like I'm trapped in a contaminated body that no amount of washing will clean."
Again, "I have no interest in talking about being raped as a child, both because I know it wouldn't help
and because I have no confidence it would remain sectret."  See biwheel below, natal & suicide transits.
     Sun conj Saturn, rejection & coldness from father, & depression tendency.  Pluto-Sun Scorpio, experience life events intensely.  Merc Scorpio, obsessive in thinking, hand washing.   Jupiter-Uranus,
associated with brilliant scientists & innovators.  Steve Jobs has Jupiter-Uranus.
     Trans Jupiter square nNeptune at death.  Jupiter usually present in death charts.
What else in his chart contributed to suicide?
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In Stitches
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« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2011, 01:10:55 PM »

I'm working with childhood trauma and planetary returns.  I've seen two charts that Cancer Moon children, that when traumatized during their first secondary progressed Lunar square (Around Age 7) or Opposition (around Age 13) committed suicide at the time of their first Secondary Progressed Lunar Return (Age 27). I'm studying charts of children of divorce, though.  Moon is directly related to family and parenting.  This is stupid to waste time on unless we have a birth time.

The Pluto-NN would be opposing a Moon which is at early Cancer degrees, or even late Gemini.  This sure would bring up some difficult feelings. Natal Pluto is right on the last degree of Libra and has progressed into Scorpio.

This is connected with Rock Stars who die young at Age 27.  They're called "the 27 Club."  There is also some kind of partial Neptune and Uranus transit related to Returns, forgot what they are.

Something significant is that his prog. Sun is on the last degree of Scorpio and about to go into Sagittarius.  I've heard that when a planet hits these ending degrees by progression that a person is just exhausted with having to deal with that sign.  Scorpio, is related to sex and rape.

He had a conjunction of Venus-Mars in Virgo to the degree.  It currently is at 14 Libra which is where transiting Saturn (depression) is at.  T.Sun is squaring this.

Most of the centaurs are good to look at in rape charts. SA Sun at 29 Scorpio is opposing natal Chiron 1 Gemini.  And Sagittarius is a Centaur...

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In Stitches
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« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2011, 01:29:53 PM »

Huffington Post has published his suicide note.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/07/bill-zeller-dead-princeto_n_805689.html

Sure does give some insight into how much Scorpios need to keep their privacy.  I remember hearing Michael Lutin say that you have to really honor the need for privacy when reading for Scorpio and Pisces types.  His parents were fundamentalist Christians.  He says his first memories of being alive are of being raped.  Ugh.  Looks like maybe around 4 years old.
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Alice McDermott
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« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2011, 03:31:57 PM »

I will keep this letter as it so clearly explains how a sexually abused child feels, even when they grow to adulthood.  Sexual, and sometimes physical, abuse disconnects a child from nature and the universe.  They feel alone, distant, not really real or alive  and usually terror becomes a normal state of mind.  Because of this feeling of disconnection and rage they can do terrible things to others.

I felt so sad, because some alternative methods of healing can be so effective for the sexually abused, but he had no knowledge of these options.

It is a pity we only have a sun rising chart, rather than a timed chart for Bill Zeller, but even so, Chiron quincunx his Scorpio Sun from the solar 8th house clearly describes his very deep wound in this area.  The exact Venus conjunct Mars in Virgo square the nodal axis making a midpoint structure with the Sun could also be a factor.  The midpoint structure of Saturn = Mars/Neptune, together with Sun = Venus-Mars/South Node and Saturn/Mercury-Pluto suggest perhaps the father was the perpetrator, or a powerful religious figure in the community.

My dear friend Mag, who died last year, said to me that she wouldn't fight her breast cancer anymore as death would be such a relief because she would no longer need to constantly remember her years of sexual abuse.  She was adopted at the age of four to literally be a sex toy for a pillar of the Catholic church in my city.  When she realized what was happening to her was wrong, she went to the local priest for help - and he told her not to be such a dirty little girl and be grateful she had such a good home.  At age 16 she went to the police, but because her adoptive father was so well respected and so powerful they told her much the same thing.  To the day of her death her adoptive family didn't believe her accusations.

35 years ago she became my client and told me of this situation; I looked at her chart and said that the astrology showed this was quite possible.  I was the first person who ever believed her and it changed her life!  She said it was as if a dark cloud rolled off her.  However the abuse left her with health problems, particularly breathing problems, as when a child she would hold her breath whilst she hid so he couldn't find her by the sound of her breathing.

She was born on the 20th September 1936, 11.27 pm, Adelaide, Australia. She died peacefully in her sleep in Adelaide, at 10.15 pm, Tuesday 15th June 2010.  Age 73.

Alice McDermott

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Halina
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« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2011, 06:55:48 PM »

Alice & In Stitches, thank you for your responses, examples and deep understanding of suicide as related to the astrology of it and the affect of abuse as a contributor to it.
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James Williams
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« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2011, 07:17:52 AM »

More indicators of suicide can be found in my previous posts on Erica Blasberg and Kenny McKinley...
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"The message blazoned across the heavens at the moment of birth is not meant to emphasize fate, but to arouse man's will to escape from his universal thralldom. What he has done he can undo. None other than himself was the instigator of the causes of whatever effects are now prevalent in his life."
Allanah
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« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2011, 07:57:25 PM »

Hi Kenneth ,  I would like to read the other articles on suicide ( Erica Blasberg and Kenny McKinley...)  Can you please point me in the direction where I can find them.  Many thanks,  Allanah
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James Williams
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« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2011, 07:12:02 AM »

Allanah, just type in those names in the search box...
« Last Edit: January 28, 2011, 07:21:03 AM by James Kenneth Williams » Logged

"The message blazoned across the heavens at the moment of birth is not meant to emphasize fate, but to arouse man's will to escape from his universal thralldom. What he has done he can undo. None other than himself was the instigator of the causes of whatever effects are now prevalent in his life."
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