Author Topic: The Fear of Abandonment  (Read 10846 times)

Offline James Williams

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The Fear of Abandonment
« on: June 18, 2013, 02:54:17 PM »
Here's another powerful and revealing article by Noel... ;)

http://www.noeltyl.com/insights/990925.html

Creative Connections & Client Communications

The Fear of Abandonment

(Updated September 25, as promised)

So often, the pattern is revealed in consultation -just as it came forth again in one of my four clients this morning-that one is adopted when the unwed mother dies, that the grandmother who adopted her then herself dies some six years later, and then the step-parents in the third family are "hopeless" alcoholics (adopting only to gain the money from the State). What emerges here in the child is a pattern of abandonment.

At age eighteen (usually indicated by high developmental tension to the significator of the 9th House and backed up by sharp angular transits at the time), the woman's education was interrupted by marriage right out of high school because "somehow I wanted to have a home of my own, something I could rely on." --The train is off the track because of unfinished business at an earlier station.

The marriage was precipitous, insecurely grounded. The wife and husband find themselves maturing into different directions. There is divorce. -And, often this same re-marrying scenario is then repeated.

An altered identity begins to form and come front and center, built entirely upon the difficult time early on in life. Psychotherapy (and/or astrology) will ascertain that there is no family model, no male in particular upon whom to anchor life development and self-worth definition. All of this has to be understood, clarified over and over again, and adjusted for future resourcefulness and self-confidence.

In adult life, the individual begins to reject offers of companionship, relationship, assistance. She/he begins to self-isolate, not to accept or believe the good things of life. Rejection of others in order not to be hurt again and again -suitors dropped when things get serious, for example-becomes the retaliation dynamic against the threat of abandonment.

It's a routined, knee-jerk reaction. Only objective understanding and behavioral modification can free up trust of others.

Now when such a scenario begins to develop in life, the Sun-Moon blend is the receptor, if you will, and suggests strongly how the effects of everything have imploded life development. In my particular case this morning, the Sun was in Pisces at the Ascendant with Mercury retrograde: what a sensitive radar screen to receive any and all hurt! The Moon was in Cancer [See Sun-Moon blends in the "Analytical Techniques Archives, please"]: the reigning need for home, emotional security. This woman was a giant, potential victim for the circumstances of her early environment.

With the Sun in Pisces on the Piscean Ascendant and Neptune, ruler of Pisces, in Virgo on the Descendant opposite the Sun, we can suggest the phenomenon of finding the self through others. This is the vulnerability to victimization.

In this case, Mercury, ruling the 7th, was with the Sun on the Ascendant, in the 12th, retrograde (the second agenda within all this experience). -Whenever we have the Ascendant and Descendant so extremely tightly linked through significator aspects (or mutual reception), we have the thought of finding the self through others, of opening up the self to exploitation by others, the high probability of disappointment and abandonment, and the eventual defense reaction of rejection and self-isolation.

Learn how to discuss these perceptions, values, and remediation techniques with your clients.
"Time is a trick, a vast illusion...Yet there is a plan behind appearances that does not change. The script is written. For we but see the journey from the point at which it ended, looking back on it, imagining we make it once again; reviewing mentally what has gone by"  (Jesus).

Offline James Williams

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Re: The Fear of Abandonment
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2013, 06:17:36 AM »
Here's another example... :)

The Moon rules a woman's 7th House, and is placed in the 12th House of self-undoing and isolation.  It is sesquiquadrate retrograde Uranus in her 7th House, and Uranus rules her 1st House.  There is a Southern Hemisphere emphasis.  The Sun-Moon blend suggests, "Don't fence me in."

Additional corroboration is suggested via evolutionary astrology.  Pluto is in her 8th House, the North Node is in Scorpio conjunct the ruler of her mind-set 3rd House, and Venus is partile conjunct her Ascendant, square the ruler of her 11th House, and sesquiquadrate Pluto.

In other words, viewed through the lens of evolutionary astrology, in a past life or lives she was very comfortable playing the role of Aphrodite (Venus, the ruler of her South Node, on the Ascendant/persona) and thus gratifying her insatiable sensual nature, most likely without much regard for the feelings, thoughts, and values of others.  This time around, she again starts out playing the field, but concepts such as betrayal, abandonment, rejection, spite, vengeance, rage, emotional intensity, bad boys, etc., also are written into the script (Pluto in the 8th, and a Scorpio North Node).

To make a long story short, her mother died when she was a young girl, and now, nearing retirement, she has never married despite having had scores of lovers throughout the decades...
"Time is a trick, a vast illusion...Yet there is a plan behind appearances that does not change. The script is written. For we but see the journey from the point at which it ended, looking back on it, imagining we make it once again; reviewing mentally what has gone by"  (Jesus).

Offline James Williams

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Re: The Fear of Abandonment
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2013, 07:33:35 AM »
...and speaking of scores of lovers, I'm reminded of Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed he slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime (an exaggerated claim, but please notice his Mars oriental)!  ;D

Here is Dipper's horoscope...he too never married...

http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Chamberlain,_Wilt

He came from a family of 6 sisters!  The ruler of his 1st House contacts the ruler of his 7th House, and note the Sun-Moon blend...

"...the self-important energy of Leonine drama streams out to society in romantic and adventurous ways.  Warm-hearted sentiment adds attractiveness to the identity.  Because of keen social awareness and the dependence on society for recognition, passion is softened into sentimentality.  Grand schemes are conceived, large social theories appeal, and everything has an optimistic projection" (Tyl).

Also please note the extremely strong idealism suggested by the Venus-Neptune-Mercury stellium in highly-cerebrated Virgo in his 5th House of love affairs and love given!!!

Retrograde Saturn in his 11th House rules his AP 8th House North Node, suggesting that father/paternal issues are intertwined in this lifetime with feelings of lovability and the values and self-worth of his partner(s).  And with Saturn being in Pisces, does that not echo the idealism theme suggested by the aforementioned stellium--so was he waiting to find someone with whom he could merge or become one with?!

Anyways, anytime you need a good laugh, please check out the following 7-minute video clip of Wilt being interviewed along with Bill Russell.

I guarantee you that you will definitely laugh...and most likely more than once!!! ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdd2biHVlyA
"Time is a trick, a vast illusion...Yet there is a plan behind appearances that does not change. The script is written. For we but see the journey from the point at which it ended, looking back on it, imagining we make it once again; reviewing mentally what has gone by"  (Jesus).

Offline In Stitches

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Re: The Fear of Abandonment
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2013, 05:06:04 PM »
Thanks for republishing this article here, James.  It made me wonder about rejection as opposed to abandonment.  Abandonment seems like an unintentional way of deserting a persons needs whereas rejection implies dislike and repulsion.  Seems more like a Negative Saturn or Jupiter thing.  Saturn can't tolerate and Jupiter overstates opinions.  

--In my book, The Astrology of Intimacy, Sexuality, and Relationship, I discuss three developmental steps of relationship breakdown, successively:  criticism, rejection, abandonment. --NT
« Last Edit: November 17, 2013, 07:11:59 PM by Noel Tyl »