Creative Connections & Client Communications
Counseling Insights, July 31, 2004.Making Decisions or Waiting for Things to Happen
So very often, astrologers are asked to make decisions for their clients or to make a pronouncement that makes the decision easier for them to make. –If I make this decision, if I accept this new job, is it going to be successful for me? Tell me.
Sounds simple, but it isn’t. Making that decision to accept the new job, for example, may very well require a relocation, home sale and purchase, uprooting children from school securities, adopting new community challenges, increasing distances from “home” families, and much more. Many people are involved.
Here are some considerations that can be helpful to the astrologer in bringing circumspection to the issues and improving discussion with the client.
The question already has its answer in it. Listen when anyone asks you any question. Listen very, very closely. So often, you can hear the answer within the question! Word choice; voice inflection; the “sound” of the eyes! --It is not far afield to realize that the future has already happened, and we are discovering it gradually. It is not too far afield to allow the probability that your client –who has spent countless hours deliberating the issue—has a fulcrum knowing-point to which he or she returns over and over again. Maybe it isn’t voiced conclusively because of fear or because the rest of family doesn’t/might not agree or initial expenses will be high to make the grand change and the end-objective is easily lost, etc.
But the question often already has its answer. –I am always prepared to begin discussion by saying, “When you ask me this, I hear that you really down deep want to take this opportunity, to make these changes.” And I stop talking.
The client is a bit startled by my statement, feels less alone with the decision that is birthing deep inside, and will now provide a private, honest evaluation. Then, discussion moves forward on more solid ground. “What are the real benefits of this decision?” Etc. You are helping the client sort through variables and conclusions without fear. You are a support group of two ... not a Magus searching for an omen!
And, of course, if down deep the client feels that he or she shouldn’t make the change, allowing discussion about that with you relieves enormous tensions. The arguments are no longer being kept inside. Your client will feel relief –either way!
Common Sense Evaluation When you ask your client, “What are the major gains from this decision, and what are the major liabilities?” you are bringing non-judgmental common sense into the discussion, something he or she can’t do as effectively alone or within a family discussion. As you listen to your client, hear your client “selling” one decision or the other. The astrologer reinforces where reasonable. The objective is to get the core of it all onto the table.
These considerations –consultation techniques—are very important because we astrologers too easily think that, armed with the planets and all our measurements, we proclaim the future with enormous surety; i.e., the planets will make it so! Our astrological technique can easily get in the way of our humanistic art: choosing resourcefully and creatively among variables that frame themselves within time.
Making Things Happen I have heard clients say, “Well I don’t decide anymore; I just wait for things to happen.” This is a statement not necessarily of dullness; more than likely, it is a statement of fear.
The age of the client is very important here. Zeal and confidence diminish with age; not necessarily because of waning energy, talent, or temperament, but because of the fear of transient insecurity. Will I lose all that I have worked for to this date if I change it, even for what I think is a better condition? How long will it take before I’m back to what I’m used to (safe with)? --This is dramatically clear when a client desperately wants to be out of his or her marriage, but, at age 55 or 65 or 70 simply can’t dare to do that! Losing so much; starting over; the aloneness. These considerations are much more important to someone of senior age than they are for someone in their thirties or forties.
So other discussions must be introduced, not just whether to change or not. –How can the present status be improved or shielded from further deterioration? --That would be a Jupiterian reward to the couple under stress, for example. How do we not press each other’s hot buttons less often?
For the younger client, with so much ahead in time, I would hear that statement of not wanting to decide but to take what comes as a lack of confidence, a poor capacity to visualize success at a new level. And then the conversation can very rewardingly explore that dimension. –How many people, even young ones, have lost the capacity or confidence to dream? How can you the astrologer help with that?
And finally, I have found over and over and over again a great reward in presenting the following statement: “We must remember: Isaac Newton had to go into the garden, first of all, in order for the apple to drop.” --I have seen that statement unlock gridlock time and time again. Say it dramatically, strongly, and then stop. Don’t move, look into your client as he or she absorbs the scope of that statement. Then listen.
The Astrology Of course we prepare our measurements from the past into the future. Our consultation reveals dynamics of past development. We learn our client’s strengths and patterned weaknesses and defenses. We ride with the client into the present and six months to a year beyond.
This is the process of identification between the astrologer and the client. It is a very important massage for the message.
The astrological projections ideally go into the future to a major angular contact or major aspect formation that is singularly remarkable. On page 122 in Solar Arcs I discuss and dramatize the technique I call “back flow”, working from such a target of astrological measurement formation in the future back to the present to define the stepping stones to the future goal. A time-strategy is revealed, and it is often remarkably helpful. Continuity from the past, through the present, and back from the goal period is really appreciated in depth.
Naturally, we have our guidelines: the big-time upheaval relationships between Uranus and Pluto, the challenging and loss-for-a-lesson potentials of Saturn-Pluto contacts; the Jupiterian reward cycle; Saturn’s architecture of advance in relation to Sun, Moon, angles; the we’ve-got-to-get-this-out-of-the-way Neptune accents, etc. We know that multiple measurements in a reasonably tight time period of, say, four to six weeks, ring the bell with regard to strategic relevance in the life of the client. –In other words, we can put our craft to work to back up the common sensical discussion we are having with the client.
The astrology can not lead the discussion, or the human being is left behind. The portents of the astrology enter the discussion without jargon. The dates are discussed rationally, and strategy is achieved.
The client then is probably better able to make a decision than ever before, and waiting around seems patently wasteful. The client reflects the astrology.
Next Update: August 31, 2004