Creative Connections & Client Communications
Counseling Insights ? August 31, 2007Elegance comes from Knowing
So often in lectures and in print, I suggest that no one can be a consulting analytical astrologer if one is not able to speak well. Clarity of speech and speech with a flow to it that propels the development of meaning are essential. Otherwise, communication dies the way of a stick in the mud or a thought in the wind.
Imagine talking with your doctor, who can?t talk clearly or effectively. What is there that is notcoming through? What is there to remember?
And then a notch above this consideration of speech facility ?which includes vocabulary, grammar, and tone of voice?there is the consideration of elegance, of eloquent communication. Vivid. Meaningful. Memorable.
It is amazing how powerful the proper turn of phrase is; how images can be brought to life and remembered for ever. [?Review the archived ?Counseling Insights? and ?Notebook? essay listings for inspiration and insight, just from the titles alone!! ]
When we know and understand something thoroughly, we can be simple and elegant about it.
Some simple examples. A student in the Master?s Certification Course reporting on detail management of a consultation writes about a client situation, ??He [the client] did not stop talking, explaining to me who had given him my telephone number and what he knew about astrology.? --Now, undoubtedly, this gentleman was nervous, not knowing what to expect from the consultation, not wanting it to start ? It?s like wanting to avoid bad news. This is certainly a common reaction for most of us in unknown circumstances. But how does the astrologer break this time-consuming flow and get on with things?
You could just wait it out ? but look at the time you would waste! You could show a bit of irritation, look at your wrist watch, etc. ? but that might be misinterpreted and color the talk that would follow.
My student continues: ?I knew it was time to ?get professional?. I started by telling him that I had made preparations for this conversation and that I had set aside a certain time for it.?
--Her client settled down immediately. In other words, preparation and schedule were to be respected because they were done on his behalf.
That is so simple, elegant, and compelling. It?s a different way of saying what needed to be said. This remark comes from a well of confidence, knowing where the consultation was going to start and to where it would go. And it transmits authority to the client.
A second example, the same student writes: ?When I mentioned her mother?s role as the one who defined the rules, what is right and wrong, Roberta agreed emphatically. She said she felt herself [and these words are a paraphrase by this student astrologer] trapped in a world of rules and norms.? --That?s an elegant summary; the eight words say so much. Those words will never fade from understanding.
Another student describing key concepts within Hugh Hefner?s horoscope, but NOT knowing it belonged to Hefner, writes, ?What we have here is a martyr, if he is not careful. The Uranus squaring the Midheaven is in Pisces on the 7th cusp: jumping into someone else?s crisis, taking on the public?s unique cause. Jupiter in altruistic Aquarius is trine to the Midheaven, suggesting even further the abundance of his commitment to others. The Moon is in the workaholic 6th.? --You just can not capture that key essence of the horoscope better than that. It is possible because this student understands fully the developmental tensions of the construct. Just imagine, upon the base of such knowing, how great the conversation would be with Mr. Hefner!
About key concepts within the horoscope of Yitzhak Rabin, a student [without knowing whose horoscope it was] writes, chiefly about the Pisces-Aries Sun-Moon blend: ?Ego assertion is difficult, with sacrifice and emotionalism gaining the upper hand. Then there could very well be an egotistic emotionalism leading to power performances.? --That statement says more than the words say! There is an elegance there that captures the difficult Sun-Moon blend.
This same student, reporting key dialogue with a client, says to the client so factually, ?You must learn to trust in relationships. When you start challenging old habits, your energy will flow and make room for new experience.? --Is that memorable, or what!?
When observing a severely overweight client walk into the consultation room, a student says, ?I observed how she was hiding shame under all that weight she was carrying.?
--And a very important insight this student shares with us: ?I have also understood that when clients approach an astrologer, they already know what they want. They are just looking for the OK signal from the astrologer, someone who can tell them they are on the right track. ?But, feelings, actions, and facts are confirmed and brought to new light with the help of the astrologer.? [This is a reminiscence of ?Counseling Insights, February 28, 2005:Hearing the Answer within the Question.?]
Students in the Master?s Certification Course have learned to speak that well, because they learn the confidence that they have something to say, that what they say can be emphatic in terms of accuracy and memorable to the client. This kind of communication is a goal I set for them, and almost all respond beautifully. ?Why? Because measurements have touched their imagination, as well as their intellect!
A student describes the Sun-Saturn-Uranus triple conjunction in Gemini: ?Within a few minutes, I had said to Betty that her horoscope suggested a strong but brittle father figure in her early development.? --Those words carve an image in the mind.
And in discussion of Judy Garland?s horoscope: ?How does the lack of planets in Earth affect the ability to function in a practical way? Without being grounded, this personality is most likely to fret constantly over what has transpired and what still lies ahead.?
And the extraordinarily vivid Mundane commentary (Dean Bensics): ?Mars-Jupiter-Pluto evoke the archetypal energies of righteous aggression; the holy crusade; explosive incitement; gaining advantage through force; the march to war; fanatical extremism sanctioned by religious fiat.?
**How do you say what you know? --Review the fine observations you have made with clients, about which you are most proud. How did you communicate them to the client? What exactly did you say? How could you now say them better?
Next Update: September 30, 2007