|Management of Measurement Constructs
An excerpt from Tyl - "Intimacy, Sexuality & Relationship", pages 96-100.
… The answer is to learn about love wisely rather than passionately -and the sooner in life the better. Love must facilitate partnership. Respect of individualism between two people looking in the same direction will allow intimacy when the mutual respect pushes criticism away. Personal shortcomings are not ignored; rather, they become part of the realistically bound profiles. Discussion hides nothing, but everything that defines the individual is welcomed and respected.
In this process, complementation (led by astrological element need and gain) builds strength. Synastry shows togetherness and teamwork. Love is comfort rather than burden.
With the whole thrust to love and make a connection, to relate in order to become whole, while still preserving the growth of ourselves as individuals, it is clear that we relate and we marry to fulfill the reigning need of our personality. Using the Sun's energy, we grow into
and through life in terms of the Moon motivation to fulfill its psychodynamic complex. The compatibility between one person's resources accumulated in the fulfillment process and the other person's resources is what sparks interest between two people, inspires a try at intimacy, and
can support love, looking together as a unit into the same direction for further growth.
The Moon in Capricorn will marry -all things considered, of course-for fulfillment of getting things done, a practical orientation within life, where progress is the most important product of the relationship.
The Moon in Aquarius will marry for something special, some unique sense of mission, often socially related, that would make the marriage different, exciting, even avant-garde. Uniqueness as a unit will probably
be the key concept.
The Moon in Pisceswill marry to be fulfilled within his or her sensitivities, appreciating the romance and ideals of understanding and sharing, perhaps on the inner plane as much as on the outer, certainly involving the intuition significantly.
The Moon in Aries will probably marry to be very important. The partner will have to offer ego reflection that is very strong, dramatic, and credible.
The Moon in Taurus will need to marry into a structured rightness, a way of protecting progress against change, hedging against transient insecurity.
The Moon in Gemini will need a cerebral base for a good marriage, a union in which diversity, thought, effervescent discussion, and a certain amount of indecision will be appreciated.
With the Moon in Cancer, the marriage potential will be based foremost on emotional security, the truth of love, especially in the home, within the sense of family. This will have to be clarified before trust can bloom.
With the Moon in Leo, the marriage will be one to serve the need to be the hero or heroine! The marriage must support the aggrandizement of self-importance and magnanimity.
The Moon in Virgo will marry to fulfill the need of being proper, correct, right. Mind will prevail over emotions.
The Moon in Libra will marry for social exposure, for relationships through the marriage out to other publics. A certain amount of aesthetics will be required as well.
The Moon in Scorpio will marry with the sense of control, perhaps even possession being very important. A deep privacy or secrecy will be a protected right within even an open bond.
The Moon in Sagittarius will marry for the personal opinions to be respected, for ego to be recognized for energy, learning, and diversification.
These Moon orientations combined with the condition of the 7th House ruler and any strong aspects to the Moon (etc.) delineate reliably the drive and operation of the marriage instinct.
In the horoscope, we must never forget that the horizon line with "relationships" to the West, in the 7th House, anchors itself at the Ascendant, the center of our individuality. When a major Arc or Transit relates to the seventh cusp, the Descendant, it also relates to the
When Neptune contacts the seventh cusp (or any Angle) there is high probability that the time period of one to one-and-one-half years will correspond to ego-wipeout, some enforced retreat of the Self to gather new
information, new energies, new understandings for growth. It is ordinarily a very difficult time in life.
Such a situation occurring during marriage years will imbalance the relationship. The Neptune is opposing the Ascendant, the center of Self is being blanketed somehow, and the effect from this will be focused in the marriage (the seventh cusp). This imbalances the marriage; the bubble may burst; the ideal may be shattered; difficulties may emerge through previous unknowns about the spouse emerging dysfunctionally in marriage consciousness. -If the spiritual or gentler dimensions of the marriage bond (with reference to the need complexes of the two individuals) are well developed, this Neptune time may be positively reinforcing. Ideals may be strengthened with good cause; aesthetics may bloom in the
union; the sense of spiritual or religious discovery may reinforce the bond.
When Uranus contacts the seventh cusp, the Ascendant will be intensified as well. The individual will become more emphasized. Again, this may imbalance the routined positions and way of the marriage. One person may be outgrowing the other and the significance of the bond.
This is why the planet Uranus figures so often in divorce or separation (or going into business for oneself; running away, escaping, etc.) -The marriage must make space and place for this specially developing partner whose development pace is peaking.
With Pluto contact with the seventh cusp, opposing the Ascendant, we can expect a power struggle in the marriage. New perspectives may beckon and the decision-making process about following one or the other is out of
balance. For the two persons to look together in the same direction, a new orientation is being commanded.
When Saturn contacts the seventh cusp, there will probably be a shift of gears in the marriage to accommodate the strategies of work and development. Has ambition gradually but definitely outdistanced mutual support?
With marriage, we seek to create a bond that will help us to fulfill our needs better than we can do alone. Part of our responsibility within the marriage bond is to recognize the individuality of the partner while looking together in the same direction for growth. Helping our partner grow as an individual strengthens the marriage bond greatly. This is the challenge to Selfhood and Selflessness simultaneously. Sometimes it is possible; sometimes it is not.
Intimacy is the precursor to deep relationship, or, in some cases, it is pursued in a loose relationship to make the relationship stronger. Intimacy is elusive because it requires two people to be well informed about themselves, honest about what they know about themselves, and eager
to let each other be what he or she is. That's difficult.
Intimacy falls victim easily to … the great enemies of intimacy are … criticisms, rejection, and the threat of abandonment, or the intrusive efforts to change someone to fit expectations. For someone who is unsure of him or herself, the open-ness of intimacy is frightening. It is avoided, self-isolation follows, and relationship is denied.
Intimacy therapy requires self-understanding with objectivity and honesty. This self-understanding must go through the social filters of gender profiling, parental support or lack of it in early traffic problems in the
home, and whatever is developed defensively and brought into early socialization experiences. This self-understanding helps a person be all he or she is, with a plan for further development. Part of this
self-understanding is the recognition of personal needs and an appreciation that all other people are going through the same process in life.
The final step to achieve intimacy is willingness for partnership in realistic terms, so that there is no bubble -or fewer bubbles-- to burst in relationship.
Next Update: January 30, 2002