April 19, 2024

The Fear of Abandonment

Creative Connections & Client Communications

The Fear of Abandonment

So often, the pattern is revealed in consultation -just as it came forth again in one of my four clients this morning-that one is adopted when the unwed mother dies, that the grandmother who adopted her then herself dies some six years later, and then the step-parents in the third family are “hopeless” alcoholics (adopting only to gain the money from the State). What emerges here in the child is a pattern of abandonment.

At age eighteen (usually indicated by high developmental tension to the significator of the 9th House and backed up by sharp angular transits at the time), the woman’s education was interrupted by marriage right out of high school because “somehow I wanted to have a home of my own, something I could rely on.” –The train is off the track because of unfinished business at an earlier station.

The marriage was precipitous, insecurely grounded. The wife and husband find themselves maturing into different directions. There is divorce. -And, often this same re-marrying scenario is then repeated.

An altered identity begins to form and come front and center, built entirely upon the difficult time early on in life. Psychotherapy (and/or astrology) will ascertain that there is no family model, no male in particular upon whom to anchor life development and self-worth definition. All of this has to be understood, clarified over and over again, and adjusted for future resourcefulness and self-confidence.

In adult life, the individual begins to reject offers of companionship, relationship, assistance. She/he begins to self-isolate, not to accept or believe the good things of life. Rejection of others in order not to be hurt again and again -suitors dropped when things get serious, for example-becomes the retaliation dynamic against the threat of abandonment.

It’s a routined, knee-jerk reaction. Only objective understanding and behavioral modification can free up trust of others.

Now when such a scenario begins to develop in life, the Sun-Moon blend is the receptor, if you will, and suggests strongly how the effects of everything have imploded life development. In my particular case this morning, the Sun was in Pisces at the Ascendant with Mercury retrograde: what a sensitive radar screen to receive any and all hurt! The Moon was in Cancer [See Sun-Moon blends in the “Analytical Techniques Archives, please”]: the reigning need for home, emotional security. This woman was a giant, potential victim for the circumstances of her early environment.

With the Sun in Pisces on the Piscean Ascendant and Neptune, ruler of Pisces, in Virgo on the Descendant opposite the Sun, we can suggest the phenomenon of finding the self through others. This is the vulnerability to victimization.

In this case, Mercury, ruling the 7th, was with the Sun on the Ascendant, in the 12th, retrograde (the second agenda within all this experience). -Whenever we have the Ascendant and Descendant so extremely tightly linked through significator aspects (or mutual reception), we have the thought of finding the self through others, of opening up the self to exploitation by others, the high probability of disappointment and abandonment, and the eventual defense reaction of rejection and self-isolation.

Learn how to discuss these perceptions, values, and remediation techniques with your clients.