Creative Connections & Client Communications
Counseling Insights, July 31, 2010Take a Seat; Let's talk!
Very often, the client will understand much, but still remain in a quandary about what to do. Indecision understandably reigns with many large issues; the single-session procedural frame of mind in the astrological consultation needs a boost for impact, with such large decisions.
Sometimes as well, clients are habitually indecisive; they have never had their judgment reinforced in their development and feel stranded when someone is not making decisions for them. In other words, a decision must be made; now, how are "we" going to make that decision? And, we must remember, no matter how great the measurements are about opportunity, for example, the decision will have to be made or nothing will happen. Perhaps there has been a lifelong stagnation present because of indecision, and for the best of times, that habit must be relinquished.
The answers are within; the client must bring them out, must let evaluation 'ring out' for practical planning.
Here is a technique that you can recommend to your client to do on her/his own. It is called "Take a Seat; let's talk!" or "Ask a friend." --The client is going to talk out the issues with fewer of the normal encumbrances.
Who has not ever talked aloud with himself, with God, with a trusted long-time friend? Getting the stuff of indecision out into the open helps us see where to go. We gradually hear the solution.
To repeat: existentially, a case can be made for the fact that the client will indeed already know the answer to the situation requiring decision. It just must be brought out., and that is what this technique can do.
--Recommendation: the client brings two chairs to the middle of a room. He sits in one and imagines a friend, a trusted articulate friend, sitting in the other. [The chairs should be close enough so that it would be comfortable for two people to sit together and one could reach out and touch the other.]
That friend (imaginarily sitting in the other chair) has a problem similar to his (your client's) and while he is very articulate about the pros and cons, is slow on taking any action about it, just as your client is. This is an opportunity to talk the issue out.
The client should start talking strongly, in a persuasive tone, making his case aloud to the imaginary friend in the second chair, about what he (the client) thinks the friend should do, i.e., "Really talk it over with your friend; make your case and his as you see them. Tell it as it is. --The client should really get into it (and that does take place in a few moments). The mind presses forward with all the arguments, and out pops some illuminated thinking, very often a bottom-line to the issue.
The reason this simple technique works well so very often is because the give-and-take positioning of the two chairs, the privacy, the deep need for resolution establish objectification that makes understanding and value judgment easier.
--Imagine a talk about "staying married" . the pros and cons, accomplished aloud in privacy, out loud, with no holds barred. In a few minutes, it is fascinating what your client will hear from within.
Try it yourself; suggest it to your clients when the situation of indecision presents itself.
Next Update: August 31, 2011>